Toni-Marie











I’ll send a postcard, from every stop, straight to you, just to piss you off…
New York, Paris, LA
living outrageous, next stop VEGAS

I know it’s corny but sometimes a girl needs corny.
Girl’s Summer Jam ’09?!

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{August 23, 2009}   Starting tomorrow…



{July 21, 2009}  

Says more about us than I ever could.
This is goodbye, for once and all.
I’m moving on.



{July 5, 2009}   Babygirl is laid up…

Wow it’s been a minute, or closer to a month. Lots has been happening in my small world.

Number one is I’m a sick little chooky. After numerous hospital visits, and doctor visits. My doctor ushers me with those scary words, “you need to come and look at this!” I’m freaking out, as there is a heap of white patches all over the x-rays of my lungs. Thankfully though, turns out it’s pneumonia. So I’m simply bed ridden, and under house arrest for awhile, and believe me I’ve been making the best of it and sleeping non-stop. Obviously when I had the flu at the start of June, I didn’t give it the time it needed or required to get better, and hence I have a bad case of pneumonia. I haven’t eaten in nine days, and I’ve dropped +five kilos. So I’m all stoked on that.

Also stoked on all the new music, that this has given me time to give a spin. Some brand new, some not-so, It’s new for me because it’s the first time I’m really listening to it.
On my current playlist;

-Daniel Merriweather – Love & War (reminds me of him, oh mope, mope, cheer up emo kid),
-Eminem – Relapse
-Green Day – 21st Century Breakdown
-Eskimo Joe – Inshalla
-Hilltop Hoods – State of The Art
-White Lies – To Lose My Life
-The Dangerous Summer – Reach For The Sun
-Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
-Regina Spektor – Far
-Conor Oberst – Outer South

It’s a very random assortment, but it’s kind of like me, erratic and all over the place, at the moment.
My blather brain is kicking in. Later bloggers and blogette’s.



{June 17, 2009}   We really are bogans…

If you don’t know me well, you probably don’t know how prone I am to saying random things. Take yesterday afternoon as an example. I’m sitting there and randomnly blurt out.

“I’m only going to date grammatically correct people from now on!”
to which my friend(name kept secret to protect the innocently dumb)
“is that the same is politically erect?”

I love my friends. But it’s true, I’m sick of grammatically incorrect boys.



{June 4, 2009}   Blather Brain…

I’m sick, like thinking of food makes me want to puke kind of sick.
Currently I’m sitting here surrounded by tissues, water, lemonade, and pain and flu meds. Im not a happy chooky. & Aunty Sooz, said she’d take the blame for my sickness, and blather brain at the moment. So Blame her.

I’m so sick I’m considering becoming a hermit, getting two kitties, and spending the rest of my days making videos like this…


-minus of course the naked junkie playing guitar at the end.

No for real. I have a serious case of blather brain. And I just woke up from a 15 hour nap?! So I’m all the worse for it, and for some odd reason I have the theme song from ‘Round the Twist’ in my head



{June 1, 2009}   Not the ’09 I imagined…

2009 was meant to be the year of me. It I have failed to live up to expectations. Lets face it if things played out the way they were set to in 07. I’d be planning a wedding, out on tour, the life of the party, living a life others dream of, most probably living in London. Instead I am what I am. I promised myself in January that I would reclaim a part of that girl this year. And so far I’ve failed.
It’s simple I don’t like who I’ve become, I live an existance that revolves around my work, and most of the time I feel like I fail at that.

I lost someone a couple of weeks ago to suicide, something I’m quite familar with, but for some reason, I feel like this has kind of shocked me out of my slump. I feel the need to start making some decisions making some steps forward, putting my foot down in other areas of my life. And just fucking living. I’ve had all these plans that are sitting there un-acted upon, and they deserve to see the light of day. I don’t care if I don’t live for a long time, but I do care if I die un-accomplished, if I die with an unfulfilled life.

I’ve started to do more for myself, I’ve put certain things in place regarding a certain business venture, and I’m working/volunteering/teaching at a kindergarten, and I love my kids hardcore, I get attached I don’t know how you can’t not, obviously for privacy reasons I wont be talking much about it here, but it gives me an inner sense of fulfillment. I love kids, they just have a way of making everything okay, maybe it’s their innocence. I can get out of bed grumpy as all hell, going ‘why the hell, did I say I’d do this’ then I walk in the gate and the smiles on their faces, and the happiness that radiates from them eradicates all of that.

I’m making changes, I’ve decided I don’t want my life back from ’07. I’m better without him in my life, I just want the same happiness and fulfillment I felt, I want new adventures, I want to do things on my own again, to feel like I’m giving as much as I’m taking.To be healthy and happy.

harleymeTo be someone he can be proud to look up too.



{May 27, 2009}  

I’m talking come back soon…
& in a big way…



{May 7, 2009}  

MY life stoke-age level is way down! Nothing has come into my life thats blown my life of late, literary wise, music wise, people wise.
I just need something to kickstart some creativity, and inspire me.

Come on people help a sister out?



{April 30, 2009}   Sick like swine…

I’ve been a sick little chooky for the past little while. I even took a day off sick on Sunday, and spent it in bed, but alas the real world calls and I’m back at work. Even though I probably shouldn’t be. But hey it could be worse, it could be swine flu?! Or is it?! No I had it long before swine-flu broke world wide, and I haven’t had any recent trips to Mexico. Although, I must say I do feel for the poor hospitals¬† who must be seeing all the hypochondriacs out in full force.

I’ve been planning and plotting my return to the real world. I really don’t feel like I’ve been living as much as I could be lately. It kind of came to a head today, when I made some decisions I probably needed to make before things got to the point they did, in regards to one particular person. I’m realising that I have the potential to hurt certain people in much the same way other people have the potential to hurt me. And it’s not exactly a good feeling. Things can feel completely superficial and vain in my head and somewhat deep and profound to someone else.¬† In some ways it makes me feel the need to censor myself more. In the end though, I can’t constantly censor myself for the sake of others feelings and nor will I. I am who I am.

Also for future reference, unless I’m totally into you, which is unlikely, romantic gestures creep me out.



et cetera