One time a pretty girl came up to me at a cocktail party, and she asked me,
“What are you doing these days?”
“I am committing suicide by cigarette,” I replied.
She thought that was reasonably funny. I didn’t. I thought it was hideous that I should scorn life that much, sucking away on cancer sticks. My brand is Pall Mall. The authentic suicides ask for Pall Malls. The dilettantes ask for Pell Mells.

— -Kurt Vonnegut